Confident Man

Oh, he's so confident
So confident in every way
He's so damn sure of himself
He's a confident man.

He takes on challenges left and right
His hair is slick and his pants are tight
Out on the dance floor Friday night
He's a confident man.

He travels all around the world
In every town he has a girl
A hundred kilos he can curl
He's a confident man.

In golf he's got a perfect swing
On each finger a championship ring
People shut up when he starts to sing
He's a confident man.

He drives the coolest foreign car
Never eats at the salad bar
Shreds like hell on electric key-tar
He's a confident man.

He breaks wild horses just for fun
Hits the bullseye with his gun
A master of the witty pun
He's a confident man.

Watch out for his roundhouse kick
His combat moves are fully sick
Starred in his own action flick
He's a confident man.

He's an alpha male that's understood
The definition of manhood
You will never be this good
He's a confident man.

He's got a wicked back tattoo
Always cuts to the front of the cue
No one tells him what to do
He's a confident man.

Likes to carry a bowie knife
Never had a hard days work in his life
Sneaks into your place and fucks your wife
He's a confident man.

He failed to show any barbeque skill
He burnt all the beef steaks on the grille
He’s catchphrase is “Hey bro, chill”
He's a confident man.

A gust of wind blew away his hat
Then he was attacked by a feral cat
Got addicted to string cheese now he's fat
But he's still a confident man.

Accidentally sprayed himself with mace
Ran around screaming “My Face! My Face!”
Then fell on the stove and burnt down his place
He's no longer a confident man.

He got kicked out of his band
Lost all his money on a poker hand
Caught AIDS from a one night stand
He's no longer a confident man.

Now he lives in a cardboard box
And makes his living from sucking cocks
He no longer thinks that he rocks
He's not a confident man.

He was falsely charged with armed robbery
They locked him up and threw away the key
He’ll be a prison bitch for eternity
He's not a confident man.

His cellmate is the prison Boss
Who always wants his salad tossed
The game of life he’s truly lost
He’s not a confident man.

Oh, he's not confident
Not confident in any way
He's so unsure of himself
He's a not confident man.