I've turned into a chick

Holy mother fucking shit
I’ve turned into a chick

What the hell is going on
and where the hell’s my dick

My body’s gone all soft
and I have lost my beard

My voice is now a soprano
‘Cos my balls have disappeared

O.K, O.K, lets stay calm
Don’t stress out, don't fret

Let's take a look in the mirror
God Damn! I’m a hot brunette!

But I distinctly recollect
growing up as a boy

How could’ve this happened?
Did I drink too much soy?

Wow, check me out, I have got
double D size boobs

I guess I should accept my womanhood
So it’s time to shave my pubes

Shavey, shavey, shavey, shave
What should I do today?

Shavey, shavey, shavey, shave
Wait a minute, does this mean I’m gay?

Better check out pics of naked ladies
to see if they still turn me on

I hope to hell I’m a lesbian
and not a fan of the shlong

I’m google imaging “sexy sluts”
to see if they make me feel randy

Oh phew, that’s good I’m horny
My new girl name shall be ‘Kandy’

So now that I’m a sexy bitch
I better get some sexy bitch clothes

A bra, g-string and mini skirt
high heels and some panty hoes

I’m driving down to the shops in the nude
just like Lady Godiva

Why do I keep on bumping into things?
Must be ‘cos I’m a woman driver

I pull up outside of Kmart
and strut right into the place

Some dickhead wolf whistles at me
So I punch him right in the face

“Don’t objectify me” I say to him
“I didn’t come here to be harassed”

“Now get the fuck out of here
before I really kick your ass”

So the dickhead quickly runs away
and I go into Kmart

I head over to the women’s clothes
and accidentally do a fanny fart

I pick out a red bra and knickers
and a cute denim mini skirt

Some fishnet stockings and high heel shoes
Look at me, I’m a foxy little flirt

Just realised I didn’t bring my wallet
So I’m gonna have to sneak out without paying

But now that I’m a sexy chick
I think I deserve free shit, if you know what I’m saying.