There once was a lass named Marita
Who was faster than a cheetah
The guys thought it was great
That she’d fuck on the first date
They all wanted a chance to meet her

All day and all night her phone rang
Guys calling from Perth to Pyongyang
She sent a bulk SMS
Texting them her address
And they all came ‘round for the gang bang

There must’ve been five hundred guys there
Pounding her plump derriere
On Instagram she posted
Pics of her getting spit-roasted
By a rather unsavoury pair

Her mother was in the next room
Sweeping the floor with a broom
But little did her girl know
That her mum used to be a ho
Who was faster than a sonic boom

In her day she rode many famous bones
Like Ringo Starr, Sting and Tom Jones
She got banged in a stall
By both Oates and Hall
And sucked off all the Rolling Stones