Megan the Vegan

I'm dating this girl called Megan
Who is a full on vegan
So I only eat pork
When she’s out on her walk
But It kinda feels like I'm cheatin’

‘Cos when she gets home she can tell
She says “What's that fuckin’ smell?”
I say "Baby of course
It’s barbeque sauce"
That's when she starts to scream and yell

“I thought we weren't gonna eat
Any kind of animal meat”
I say “Baby listen to me
It's just fried tabbouleh
With a side of steamed silverbeet"

She says “Oh that’s a fuckin’ lie
How dare you try to deny
That you've been eatin' pork
I don't buy your jive talk
I thought you were a decent guy"

I say “Babe, I wasn't tryin' to front”
As I swiftly light up a thick blunt
"If you can't take a joke
At least have a toke
On this spliff and stop being a cunt"

She inhales and her eyelids fall
Then she wraps herself in her wool shawl
And says "I'm in the mood
For Italian food"
So I give the pizza shop a call