My Last Five Girlfriends

First there was a redhead named Zara
Who wore plenty of pretty mascara
She put some on her patch
Which evaporated her snatch
Now her pussy’s as dry as the Sahara


Then there was a fatty named Gail
Who’d eat her meals out of a steel pail
She was as tall as she was wide
And when we went to the sea side
She was mistaken for a beached humpback whale


Next there was a chick called Mary-Jane
Who was suspected of being insane
She’d carbonate a glass of piss
‘Til it had a golden fizz
Then sip it just like french Champagne


And who could forget little Jean
For my cock she was incredibly keen
But I nearly shat a brick
When my drinking buddy Rick
Told me she was only sixteen?


Finally there was a big slut named Sonya
Who'd eat twenty-four pounds of bologna
Then she’d turn up her rump
And take a huge dump
Splashing her brown meat sauce down on ya



BONUS !


There was also a tranny called Rebecca
But I swear I didn't know that when I met her
Once she met me after work
And proceeded to jerk
Me off, before flashin' me her foot-long pecker !