Our first time on the Beach

The foul smell of the seaweed makes me dry reach
Stupidly, I plonk myself down on the littered sand
I yelp as a used syringe jabs my hand
The couple in front of us are giving me the shits
You’re paranoid that I’m looking at the lady's tits
You stomp off mad down to the packed sea
Everyone can tell that you're angry with me

I dunno 'bout this water I’m just not sold
I’m such a pussy when it comes to the cold
You put your hand down my shorts with your head on a swivel
I say 'It's usually bigger, the temp made it shrivel"
To my surprise you splash salt water in my eyes
When I open them you're flirting with some other guys
They’re tanned and chiseled and in great shape
Compared to them I look like a pale, shaved ape
I wade over to you and they can tell I’m pissed
As I grab you firmly around the wrist
You pull away and head off toward the dunes
A fuck wit with an iPod blasts techno tunes

The dark seeps in and all the people piss off
I think I've caught a cold 'cos now I have a cough
You pull out a box of Sunnyvale goon
We drink it from the nozzle in the light of the moon
As the wine buzz sets in you don't hate me anymore
Being in your presence is no longer such a chore
Clumsily you rip my board shorts down
And with your hair tied back on me you go to town
I enjoy the sensation ‘till you bite down and grunt
Because you accidently got some sand in your cunt
In a frustrated huff you take off your bathers
As we’re encroached upon by space invaders

Fuckin’ mozzies everywhere wouldn't you know
Biting me from drunken head to hang nailed toe
They don't go for you , they only go for me
You tell me to suffer and laugh “he he he”
I give up on the day. I’ve had a e-bloody-nough
Until I see you laying there on the sand in the buff
I roll onto your body. You spread your legs wide
But as I’m nutting we get hit by a fuckin’ king tide