The Highland Pimp

There once was a Highland pimp
Who used to ride around in a blimp
His dick was so long
It made him balance wrong
So he walked with a pronounced limp

He would float from town to town
Making a yodelling sound
Then he’d strap a parachute
To a dirty prostitute
And drop her right down to the ground

When the men saw the hooker falling
They would start with the cat calling
They’d yell “Yo sexy lady!”
And “You wanna be my baby!”
Which she found rude and appalling

Then she’d land on a soft haystack
Where they’d proceed to ride her arse crack
And one by one
They’d fill her with cum
'Til they all had an empty ball sack

But one day they thought 'twould be funny
To run off without paying any money
So after they’d all had a go
They yelled “Thanks ya dumb ho!”
Then off over yonder they did runny

But the pimp had street smarts in spades
From doing one of the world's oldest trades
So he flew after the men
Firing at them
With hollow bullets filled with AIDS

As he was shooting at one guy who didn't pay
A round hit a rock and ricocheted
Back up to the pimp
And popped a hole in his blimp
Which exploded in a most spectacular way

And as the flames rained down from above
The hooker realised the pimp was her true love
And this might make you wince
But just like in that song by Prince
She made a sound like a crying dove