I've turned into a chick

Holy mother fucking shit 
I’ve turned into a chick 

What the hell is going on 
and where the hell’s my dick 

My body’s gone all soft 
and I have lost my beard 

My voice is now a soprano                               
‘Cos my balls have disappeared 

O.K, O.K, lets stay calm 
Don’t stress out, don't fret 

Let's take a look in the mirror 
God Damn! I’m a hot brunette! 

But I distinctly recollect                                                     growing up as a boy 

How could’ve this happened? 
Did I drink too much soy? 

Wow, check me out,  I have got 
double D size boobs 

I guess I should accept my womanhood 
So it’s time to shave my pubes 

Shavey, shavey, shavey, shave 
What should I do today? 

Shavey, shavey, shavey, shave 
Wait a minute, does this mean I’m gay? 

Better check out pics of naked ladies 
to see if they still turn me on 

I hope to hell I’m a lesbian 
and not a fan of the shlong 

I’m google imaging “sexy sluts” 
to see if they make me feel randy 

Oh phew, that’s good I’m horny 
My new girl name shall be ‘Kandy’ 

So now that I’m a sexy bitch 
I better get some sexy bitch clothes 

A bra, g-string and mini skirt 
high heels and some panty hoes 

I’m driving down to the shops in the nude 
just like Lady Godiva 

Why do I keep on bumping into things? 
Must be ‘cos  I’m a woman driver 

I pull up outside of Kmart 
and strut right into the place 

Some dickhead wolf whistles at me 
So I punch him right in the face 

“Don’t objectify me” I say to him 
“I didn’t come here to be harassed” 

“Now get the fuck out of here 
before I really kick your ass” 

So the dickhead quickly runs away 
and I go into Kmart 

I head over to the women’s clothes 
and accidentally do a fanny fart 

I pick out a red bra and knickers 
and a cute denim mini skirt 

Some fishnet stockings and high heel shoes 
Look at me, I’m a foxy little flirt 

Just realised I didn’t bring my wallet 
So I’m gonna have to sneak out without paying 

But now that I’m a sexy chick 
I think I deserve free shit, if you know what I’m saying.